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You’re welcome
I just published my drafts. & now you know. Update: that was a bad idea so I set them all to private when I woke up.
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Dear me,
Don’t forget to take out the trash. It’s your job now. & so is feeding your fat cat in the morning. & the stupid dogs.
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Subliminal messages
I was thinking about you but all my transmissions were blocked so I just hung up & went about my silly day, adjusting the temperature depending on the weather of the wave length. Turn it down.
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I think
you missed me at my best. but it’s ok because I’ve been reincarnated.
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Such a fool
Spewing vulnerabilities to the vulnerable & talking in circles my head hurts my heart hurts my eyes hurt my head hurts my heart my heart Blocked.
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Cigarettes
I am weak. Don’t get them. No more. I’m just bored & I like the change of scenery.
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Dear Bee
I‘m not a villian. I just play one in this act. & you always have time to talk to your mother.
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When its not supposed to be
I’ll just let it be. I suppose. I mean. I don’t really even think of you when I hear that one song anymore.
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I guess there isn’t an algorithm for that.
The first boy to buy me breakfast killed himself in April & I just found out because I realized I hadn’t heard from him in awhile. As I clicked on his profile to send a msg I saw the posts. So many posts blending together. My heart sank into my stomach. I guess there isn’t…
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A new thing.
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Without you.
I dont want to be mean But I like you less every day & your touch makes me feel a way. Like butterflies. But reversed. Is that panic. It feels inevitable. I want to move. But not with you.
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What are we?
I forgot what I wrote in my head. I often do. & that’s why it comes out so stream of consciously conscious. Some memories are good but I forget you’re in them with me & then it’s a fight. Or a rabbit hole. Most recently: silence. Headphones in. Dis. Connected. You’re not here. I’m gone…
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Nicotine free
Adjust your eyes to the brightness. The breaks are cold. You walking through the hall in your pajama bottoms, wondering if I’ve moved at all. (I have not. I don’t know what to do.) Anxiously. I should get out more. But I think I’ll just eat a cheeseburger. Apply for some jobs. Chew some more…
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IVoted2020
It didn’t excite me like it usually does. I’m not buying a celebratory cake. I’m less optimistic than I was 4 years ago on this day. & definitely more incredulous. I voted for Joe Biden because even if it doesn’t matter, my opinion does. & it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. Just…
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Natural History
I forgot to tell you. I turned off all my social media notifications. I much prefer screaming into a void to the tune of a symphony for a crater, then catching up on the commentary. I’ve never been a performer, I just want to capture things. Sometimes it’s my face. Or half of. Or my…
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Always a bridesmaid
I guess they wanted to hear about how terrified I was, waking up in a fog the next morning, struggling my way out of the waterbed as I realized my nose felt broken. & I was naked. Alone. In a city I didn’t know. With no friends. I got in my car and drove through…
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This state we’re in.
Everything takes twice as long. 11:11 feels longer than a minute. Everyone is impaired. Foggy. Raw. Sensitive. I am not Kate Bush. & my voice is shaking. Sneaking side eyes & trying to remember to breath. Or feel. Something or anything. Everything. Nothing. I feel, staring at walls. He said he didn’t see you. But…
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Logan. Meh.
Dec 8 2019 Watched Logan’s Run for the first time & I have so many thoughts. Like: Why do they live in a mall?& what was the point?Why do the people who help them run not run themselves?Who is passing out these Ankh keys???They have teleportation Tinder but their cars are basically rollercoasters?Why can’t Logan…
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Divine
I’d like to workflow the ways in which boys have made me want to puke. this thing feels more than. It’s definitely not that. Maybe it’s that. My insides feel weird.
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Save draft
The drafts & trash bin are my real diary. So rarely published. Or reviewed. My words annoy me. So, I get it. I feel neurotic when I’m at my best. & I think you have a complex. Just remember to let it go. She should be nicer. More present. Tonight I played my flute. In…