I guess there isn’t an algorithm for that.

The first boy to buy me breakfast killed himself in April & I just found out because I realized I hadn’t heard from him in awhile. As I clicked on his profile to send a msg I saw the posts. So many posts blending together. My heart sank into my stomach. I guess there isn’tContinue reading “I guess there isn’t an algorithm for that.”

IVoted2020

It didn’t excite me like it usually does. I’m not buying a celebratory cake. I’m less optimistic than I was 4 years ago on this day. & definitely more incredulous. I voted for Joe Biden because even if it doesn’t matter, my opinion does. & it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. JustContinue reading “IVoted2020”

Natural History

I forgot to tell you. I turned off all my social media notifications. I much prefer screaming into a void to the tune of a symphony for a crater, then catching up on the commentary. I’ve never been a performer, I just want to capture things. Sometimes it’s my face. Or half of. Or myContinue reading “Natural History”

This state we’re in.

Everything takes twice as long. 11:11 feels longer than a minute. Everyone is impaired. Foggy. Raw. Sensitive. I am not Kate Bush. & my voice is shaking. Sneaking side eyes & trying to remember to breath. Or feel. Something or anything. Everything. Nothing. I feel, staring at walls. He said he didn’t see you. ButContinue reading “This state we’re in.”

Logan. Meh.

Dec 8 2019 Watched Logan’s Run for the first time & I have so many thoughts. Like: Why do they live in a mall?& what was the point?Why do the people who help them run not run themselves?Who is passing out these Ankh keys???They have teleportation Tinder but their cars are basically rollercoasters?Why can’t LoganContinue reading “Logan. Meh.”

Happy Birthday

Things I have given myself over the past year for my birthday because I am incredibly fortunate & have a beautiful life despite us all being doomed sooner or later: Freedom from the corporate worldGlossierA legit corset.Plants. A subscription to nicotine gum.Fuck Trump LipstickChocolate brown hair dye.Green hair.Pink hair. New tweezers. A strawberry dress. HappyContinue reading “Happy Birthday”

& Maybe I’ll finish learning spanish now. 

As an adult, I learned English was my mom’s second language.& that living through Chicano history in San Antonio was complicated for a girl wanting to fit in. She never talked to me Spanish. I was an Oswalt, not a DeLeon. I wouldn’t be made fun of for my accent or the way I pronouncedContinue reading “& Maybe I’ll finish learning spanish now. “

Here’s to you.

HERES TO YOU On day three of deliver-everything-self-quarentine, I traumatized the pizza delivery driver. Apparently they are leaving pizzas on wrapped present boxes at your door when you click the no contact delivery option. I have been waiting for this moment for years. I don’t have to put on pants. My dogs won’t go crazyContinue reading “Here’s to you.”