Natural History

I forgot to tell you.

I turned off all my social media notifications. I much prefer screaming into a void to the tune of a symphony for a crater, then catching up on the commentary. I’ve never been a performer, I just want to capture things.

Sometimes it’s my face. Or half of. Or my words. & I remind myself these are your stupid rules. & that no one actively hates you. Stop being insecure.

In lieu of being strange & wonderful in rose colored clouds of vapor, I’ve been writing, but you have to find it. & making art out of to do lists. Publishing copy. Teaching my friends (& strangers) how to build websites. Volunteering. Reading. Taking deep breaths. Sleeping too much. Procrastinating. Forgetting. Making lists. Distracting myself.

I’m worried.

I’m hopeful.

Will revert after Tuesday.

I’m still here.

Apparently it’s that easy.

I’m very tired

& I just close my eyes.

After serious talks about passive aggressiveness.

Feeling off.

It’s no secret it was.

After sleeping on it though, I think it gets better.

Because a lot of it made sense. And I think I am. & I mumble.